“I just feel that we only get one chance at saying our last goodbye to our loved ones and I would like it to be personal and significant.” Pat
There are many questions funeral directors and celebrants need to know the answer to, to correctly register your death when the time comes and they usually cause some concern for family members trying to accurately give the information.
At an obligation free meeting I can assist you in completing a basic questionnaire that will let your family know what you would prefer – eg burial or cremation, public or private service – there are so many aspects to consider. You can then discuss your choices with them, explain your decisions if necessary and advise them where you will be keeping the folder so they know where to find it when the time comes.
This has no bearing on whether you have prepaid your funeral with a particular funeral company. Your first choice is whether you want the funeral director to choose your celebrant for you or would you like someone who has talked these decisions over with you and knows you however slightly.
So many of us don’t like to recognize that we are going to die one day and many will say “that it doesn’t matter what happens then as they won’t be here to care”, however that is somewhat selfish to our family and friends who are left here endeavouring to come to terms with their loss and feel they are doing what you would want.
Instead of looking down on your loved ones who, trying to come to terms with losing you, are being asked numerous questions, take this opportunity to ease their burden and enable them to have the answers already. It is hard for them to all agree on what your choices would have been and still feel like they have done what you would like. This is your opportunity to take this added dilemma off them.
Alternatively you can make a time with me and together we will compile what you would like as a guide to be given to them when they most need it and compile all the required information the family or friends will have to supply. We can comfortably discuss your ideas for a ceremony to celebrate your life and complete a basic format to leave for them. Of course you are welcome to include as many family members as you like to be a part of the meeting. Slide shows, readings, songs and music are all possible. Symbols can also give greater depth to a ceremony. The service may include religious content if the family desire.
“Funerals do not have to be sad. For the right people, a funeral can be an uplifting celebration of a life”
Whether it be a church service or a civil ceremony we have all attended a funeral where we have come away disappointed that the spirit of the person whose life we went there to celebrate and say goodbye to just wasn’t recognized. This can so easily happen when grieving families have to make quick decisions or are under pressure and take the first option. The result often spoils their last chance to publicly acknowledge the love they have for that person and it can have a lasting effect on those who feel that they didn’t do it right for their loved one. You can save them this angst and they can come through this time feeling that they have done the best they could for you.
Should you die, funeral interviews are normally conducted at the clients’/ family’s house. There may be several members of the family or friends present. If I am called to be the celebrant I like to let people talk while I listen, take notes and ask questions about the deceased’s life. I will also ask the family if they have ideas for the ceremony and whether working via a funeral director or direct, I will ask one person to be point of contact to avoid confusion. Creating a meaningful service is an honour for me and I will support any family members/ friends who choose to be a part of the service. Once I have put the service together I always go back to the family to ensure I have understood them and added information correctly.